really? EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting? i find that hard to believe. stop feeding me these lies

Well it was really hard to see if it was everyone, you see they were as fast as lightning.

And to be honest it was a little bit frightening.

at least they fought with expert timing

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


“I OBJECT!!!!” the defendant screams in court. the judge gives him a very emotional hug and says “no…you human”

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


if you’re gonna shit on people for using fictional characters to motivate themselves well first of all what the fuck is your problem

(Source: nitohri, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)



when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’

everyone lost their shit and i got second place

If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something

(Source: thewinterswidow, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.

(via seedy)


listening to your favorite song as it gets closer to the chorus

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


shoutout to my mutuals that I don’t really talk to y’all still cool

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


can i sell my feelings on ebay i don’t want them anymore

(via seedy)